Sunshine.

Just two months after beginning to try for a baby, I found out I was pregnant. It was June 2008. I was on a trip with my parents in Texas. Dan was back in California working. I'll never forget sneaking a pregnancy test into the hotel bathroom, trying to be quiet as I ripped open the package. My parents were laying on the bed in the hotel room watching the news. I didn't want them to suspect anything, more or less because I didn't want to be embaressed when I discovered I wasn't pregnant...AGAIN. After all those months of infertility...a positive pregnancy test seemed like a dream. After I took the test, I laid it on the side of the tub...washed my hands...looked at myself in the mirror for a few seconds...then gulped down a lump in my throat as I walked back over to inspect the test. I saw two lines. Of course, I had to reread the box to make sure I knew what two lines meant! Yes...two lines meant I was pregnant. I just about fell over! NOW WHAT? How could I walk out of this bathroom pretending my life hadn't just completely changed in 2 seconds? How would I be able to stifle the cries my heart was DYING to let loose? I opened the door, and set the test on the sink counter. Nonchalently, I sat at the bottom of my bed and then looked over at my parents. They were comfortably watching the news...having no clue what was going through my head at this point. I finally opened my mouth, and with all the strength I could muster squeaked out, "Well, do you guys want to be grandparents?". They both just looked at me blankly...until I began sobbing so hard my body just shook. Now they were sitting straight up, completely confused. After I calmed myself down a bit...I repeated my question. Well, then they began crying themselves. With all my heart I wanted to call Dan and let him know! But, I knew that I would never, EVER be able to live with the fact that I told him over the phone. I had to keep the secret until I saw him again. Ironically...Father's Day. I went to sleep that night already in love with that little one growing in my tummy. I didn't sleep a wink. I imagined what the baby would look like, what it's name would be, if it would be a boy or girl... I tossed and turned and lived through a night that seemed to go on forever. In the morning I tested again...sure enough...positive. I called my doctors and they set up an appointment for me several weeks down the road. Now for the day to come when I could tell Dan he was going to be a dad!

I spent the next few days of my Texas trip picking up little odds and ends for Dan. A book entitled, "The Idiots Guide to Being a Dad", a t-shirt that said WORLD'S BEST DAD...etc. I was so excited. Dan was going to meet us on our way home at a restaurant. I would give him his gifts at the restaurant on Father's Day. This would be one of the happiest days of our lives.

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother's womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it.

Psalm 139:13-14